but perhaps it is a hamster of DEATH!!!!!!!!
Today, a hi-fucking-larious op-ed piece in the New York Times SOUNDS THE ALARM about the IRANIAN SMALL BOAT MENACE(!!!!!!) in the Persian Gulf. The U.S. Navy is PERCHED ON THE EDGE OF A WORLD-HISTORICAL CONFRONTATION with a GREAT AND MIGHTY THREAT!!!! Sample claim:"Three days later the frigate Carr was forced to use its ship's horn to ward off three Iranian small boats, two of which were armed..."
Take each piece, one at a time: "Forced" to "use its...horn" to "ward off" three small boats, "two of which were armed." Beep, beep. It's like the sinking of the Bismarck.
But the best part, for me, is to compare the dire text of the piece to the photograph the Times uses at the top to illustrate the nature of the threat. Take a look, then come back.
You're laughing out loud? Yeah. I especially love the way the headline and the photograph work together.
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE GIGGLING!?!?!? WE ARE PLAYING THE MIIIIIIGHTY WURLITZER!!!!!
Snarfle.
posted by Chris Bray @ 1:49 PM
2 Comments:
I have trouble believing that that rocket launcher wouldn't capsize the Mighty Boghammer before it got off more than one or two shots.
What do you think it would take a carrier wing to neutralize the Iranian surface fleet? A day, maybe two?
I love the part at the end where, in order to stop the Iranians from harassing us (by being within half a mile of us) and to supposedly head off a wider conflict, he advocates preemptive attacks on military facilities on an island. Pearl Harbor worked so well to deter us after all.
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