madge sees your smirk
Henceforwardistically, all of my blogging activity will consist of halfassed links to
unmissable stuff linked to by
IOZ or
CR. In fact, all of my blogging activity for the last six months and the next six months can probably be summed up by "go read IOZ." Furthermore, twelve to fifteen years from now, I will be turning in a dissertation that may be summarized as, "some fuckers did some shit, and somebody said some stuff about it." And then, death.
Although I
do have some fucking stories to tell -- I say "fuck" to cover my laziness -- if I ever get the energy. My medical advice, until then, is to say no to the tests, especially if your medical services provider asks in advance what kind of resuscitation you'll authorize, just in case. ("Oh, no, it's perfectly safe, we're just asking, you know,
in case her heart happens to stop, do you want the basic CPR or the advanced? But no worries.") Refer all further questions to the cat curled up in the closet with our shoes, recovering shakily from being helped.
And read
this, too, 'cause it's great, and because, uh [takes swig of fortified wine] somebody else linked to it. [Random use of variation on the word "fuck."]
If I become any more lazy and predictable, I will be offered a job as a columnist for the
New York Times.
or we can turn before we hit the mountain
Stunning
story from the
Army Times, that notorious outpost of the anti-military far left. I won't try to summarize, because you have to read the whole thing. It's all right there, for anyone who cares to see it. A little over a quarter of the country
still doesn't care to, which is long past being a merely shameful choice.
My thanks to Ahistoricality for bringing this one to my attention.
"helmets, helmets, helmets"
Because I can't stop staring at
The Don Surber, I used the Lex-Nex to find his old
Charleston Daily Mail columns. Mooooother
fucker, can this guy type it real simple-like. October 26, 2001:
I feel like the cop waving traffic around the wreck. Move along. Nothing to see here, folks. Return to normal.
Except, Americans refuse to return to normal.
And no one can make them.
People love the panic. Halloween seems so lame now.
Being threatened flatters them. Makes them feel important.
[...]
"May you live in interesting times" is a curse in some cultures. Not so in America.
Ahhh, uhhh, errr...
Sorry, my brain just died a little, just for a moment, there. Onward! October 19, 2001:
Patriotism and God are controversial, but good and evil are clear.
Dubya framed the issue, rallied the nation and frustrated his critics. That Big Media consortium quietly killed its recount of Florida's votes.
Osama bin Laden is evil. His money comes from extortion, drug peddling and slavery.
So, see, all the way back in the month after 9/11, he was already daring to clear up that whole "Osama bin Laden -- good guy or not such a good guy?" question.
And
before 9/11? Damn right, he was already writing about the Important Stuff. February 9, 2001:
Liberals should lighten up. It was only one election. They need to find something to do and get on with their lives.
Michael Eisner could build them a new theme park - a politically correct Disneyland.
Ah, Liberal Land. The music rocks. The people are beautiful. The food is healthy, though bland.
Children don't have to be 48 inches tall to ride the roller coaster. Height discrimination.
But they do have to wear a helmet to ride the roller coaster, flying saucers and the Tunnel of Love.
Helmets, helmets, helmets.
I. Am. Not. Making. This shit up.
"Halloween seems so lame now." He says. In October. Of 2001.
More excerpts later, I absolutely guarantee.
And, see, I'm already writing like Don Surber.
Just after reading a few of his columns.
I wonder why.
That is.
Happening.
Helmets, helmets, helmets.Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep....
mommy, can i make a poopie?
In Punditstan, we are all
four years old.
and you can't tear out your eyes
Hell is being in the audience for an excruciatingly awful dark comedy, and you try to walk out after an hour, but you find that the door is locked, and the movie keeps going and going and going, and the door never opens, and the movie is the
same scene repeated over and over and over.
brain freeze
For years I was unaware of the existence of a thing called a "Don Surber." But now I keep going back to stare in wonder and amazement, even though it actually, physically
hurts.
"today i go to war"
Light-years beyond parody. A few months old, but I just saw it for the first time. Be sure to scroll down for the insignia.
Elsewhere: "I like to think they also serve who only sit and click."
tiny stomping foot
Hi-fucking-larious.
but is there a matt barber butt plug?
Do not miss this one.
come back and i will taunt you a second time
The opposition party
plays it to the wall:
Rep. Jane Harman, senior Democrat on the House of Representatives Intelligence committee at the time, said she had asked the CIA's top lawyer in February 2003 not to destroy any recordings after being briefed on the interrogations.
"The briefing raised a number of serious concerns and led me to send a letter to the General Counsel. Both the briefing and my letter are classified so I cannot reveal specifics, but I did caution against destruction of any videotapes," said Harman of California.
She
asked. Privately. With sugar on top.
So take
that, garrison state!
I no longer blame Addington, Yoo & Cheney, LLC. How could you
not be tempted to roll people who are so consistently like this? They practically flip themselves over for you -- it's hardly an accomplishment to finish the job.
The entire EOVP should be on half-pay.
keep your guard up
I have good information from a reliable source at
Commentary which suggests the Iranians are going to come to America with forks and eat our kidneys while we're distracted by all the cultural Marxism.
if you see something, say something dumb
More John Doe-quality
pants-crappery.
"when has a war ever been started on an evidentiary standard?"
"Their 'weapons programs,' like Iraq's previously, are entirely irrelevant, except insofar as they provide fodder for the domestic debate mill. The United States embarked upon a project to cement its political hegemony in the Middle East, and that has proven more difficult than America imagined. Thus does our naked eye turn to the next target of opportunity. Iran's crime is not, nor ever has been, building weapons or 'sponsoring' terrorism. Its crime is asserting a right to self-determination and political independence, which the government of the United States perceives as a challenge to its global primacy."
From here.
