Friday, December 23, 2005

the war on horseshit

So apparently there's a fucking war on Christmas*, and apparently the fucking war on Christmas is an urgent topic in books and blogs and on cable news.

So I would just like to report that my wife, who is Jewish, is depressed today because she went to a shopping center near our home in the heart of a Jewish neighborhood -- on fucking Fairfax, for crying out loud -- and was deluged with Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. To the total exclusion of any other holiday that occurs around this time of the year. (And she's pretty patient about this stuff -- she married someone named Christopher, after all.)

And, indeed, if you go back and click on the link for that shopping center -- that shopping center on North Fairfax Avenue in Los Angeles -- you'll see this list of events:
Snow twice a night at 7:00 & 8:00 pm

• Visit Santa's Magic Cottage Daily

• Pet Photos with Santa Tuesday &
Wednesday from 6:00 pm

• Christmas Carolers Friday-Sunday

• Premiere Shopping & Dining

• Concierge Services

• Roasted Chestnuts

• Caruso Gift Cards by American Express

• Weekend performances by The Top Hats –
The Grove’s new signature dance troupe
Santa, Santa, Christmas Carolers...

Yep. There's a war on Christmas, clearly. Wonkette has already made the definitive statement on this topic, so I'll just link to it and return to my regularly scheduled coffee-drinking activity. But, I mean, please. Precisely how stupid does an argument have to be before we can reasonably punch somebody in the face for insulting us with it?

*Old news, I know -- I'm in the middle of the desert in a Muslim country, folks.

ADDED LATER: Well worth the time to look at the Amazon page for John Gibson's book The War on Christmas, amusingly subtitled, "How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought." Apparently, "Millions of Americans are starting to fight back against the secularist forces..."

Damn those secularist forces and their overwhelming dominance of American society! We must fight back, though it mean our very deaths! (Was it Castro? Did Fidel Castro send them?)

More horse tranquilizers, nurse!

2 Comments:

At 3:33 PM , Blogger Linus Kafka said...

Check out Hendrik Hertzbergs comment on this in the New Yorker: http://www.newyorker.com/talk/content/articles/051226ta_talk_hertzberg

 
At 10:09 PM , Blogger chris bray said...

Very nicely done, that one.

 

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