USAMTSAn open letter to my brain
I used to be able to use you -- well one side of you, anyway -- to do mathematics. It's true. You used to know what a module was. Kernels were not only related to agriculture or UNIX shells. But now solving an ordinary differential equation would cause a short-circuit, mayhaps a complete meltdown. I'm serious, brain, this is a problem of gargantuan proportions. Do you even know what "gargantuan" means? Whatever. I'll help you out. Look it up here.
You sicken me. My stomach lurches because of your inadequacy. Who knows the reaction of my other body parts. You need to reforge synaptic connections in the corpus callosum, ASAP.
You even forgot to remind me that the International Mathematics Olympiad (IMO) was last month. Better late than never. The United States came in second, to China. (One thing to note is that 3 of the 6 US team members were from Phillips Exeter Academy...) You stupid chunk of grey matter, you could never do IMO level problems. But when you were not severly damaged, I fondly remember your assitance in writing this great competition when I was in high school. Now its run by the NSA. Conspiracy? You connect the synapses.
Maybe I'll help you in the recovery process. I will attempt the USAMTS exam problems from this year. Please, don't forsake me. Pretty please?